Movie Thoughts: Animal Crackers (2017)

• Released: June 12th, 2017
• Directed by: Tony Bancroft, Jaime Maestro, Scott Christian Sava
• Running time: 1h 45min
• Rating 1.5/5

Synopsis

A family inherits a circus, as well as a box of magical animal cookies that can transform one into any animal. When the evil Horatio Huntington wants to take over the circus, they will have to use the powers of the cookies to save it.

My Thoughts

This is baaad. This is real baaad. Much worse than I was anticipating. Generic boring poorly-written slop of a movie. I hate that I watched this. 

The story? Generic. The characters? I cared about none of them? The concept of making a movie about cookies of all things? Stupid. The humor? Varies between unfunny and actually offensive. The animation? Bland, visually uninteresting. The character designs? Generic as well. Do I need to go on? The songs? Forgettable and bad.

This movie is usually very bland and very boring, and the only exception is when it is actively straying into "bad" territory. Which is quite a few times. I'm not saying that this is the worst movie I've ever seen, far from it, but it's still baaaaaaad and I regret watching it. 

I also hate how this movie actually strays into "offensive" territory quite a few times. There are several uses of the G-slur, the character with dwarfism is constantly made fun of because of his height, and the only fat characters exist to be a joke. Was it that hard for the writers of this movie to contemplate being considerate? Apparently, it is. 

They shouldn't have included songs in this, but especially Huntington's song is atrocious. Ian McKellen is a great actor, but sing (at least in this movie) he cannot. 

Don't watch this, don't even consider watching this. There is nothing worth checking out here.